Sunday Morning Opening

So we performed our Sunday morning ritual—–open the pill box, you know, the one branded with the days of the week on the cover of the little compartments; get out the various drugs, supplements, vitamins that prolong our lives; and load up the box for the week.  Every so often, of course, one of the bottles of prescription drug or fish oil needs to be opened.  That’s when thoughts of the Tylenol poisoner come to mind.
Back in 1982, some bozo, to this day unknown, laced bottles of Tylenol sold in the Chicago area with poison.  Seven people died.  The result was a recall of the product and the familiar safeguards applied to packaging today.  Which of us hasn’t struggled with opening a bottle of vitamins or a prescription drug?  First, cut off the plastic that is shrink-wrapped around the exterior of the cap.  Then push down and turn to open (hopefully) the cap—-best not try this if your arthritis is kicking up.  Now, the third layer of protection, the aluminum foil paper stuck to the top of the bottle—-puncture it, peel it, scream at it….
I have but one wish for the perpetrator of this incident. The individual who caused all the rest of us law-abiding citizens to suffer and plan when opening our meds:  I sincerely hope he develops such crippling arthritis that he cannot open his pain killers or other treatments, that it hurts so bad when he battles the protective packaging he caused, that he surrenders himself to the authorities so he can be jailed—–and his sentence can be to discover a more humane replacement for the methods used to preserve product integrity than those with which we presently struggle.

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